I woke up one night, as if I was having a dream. I felt nauseated, heavy, and all I remembered were the words “oh come on Andrea, you are so damn sensitive.” I guess I was dreaming about my dad, because he would say that often to me. Usually with a scrunched up disgusted kind of face.  My mother would use the word as well, but not as often as my dad. I learned from an early age the word “sensitive” appeared to be a derogatory word in our house.   
As a young girl, I did not understand I was absorbing my environment, and the people in it.  My father held in a lot, and would then randomly explode. Usually he was hyper critical of what mistakes my mother made, or myself made as I got older.  I didn’t understand at age 9 that my dad had a job he absolutely hated, and he felt life sucked him dry. He even hated the state we lived in…which my mother chose. And he appeared to only be able to release the tension in one way, in rage.  
So a few things I can look back on and describe about by 9 year old self.  I never took a deep relaxing breath. I was always tense, and hyper aware of what my dad was doing, where he was at, and what mood he was in.  I was reading his energy, without knowing what that was.  And I could read the dog, who was also navigating his way around my dad’s energy.  
There were a lot of difficult times in our household. You learned to “silently cry” into a pillow late at night, just to release all of the tension. 
But if i tried to speak up about something, or share my feelings, tears always fell from my cheek. And then I was called “sensitive.”

Like all empaths, I had an energetic block in my solar plexus, in my throat, and in my heart.  When we are blocked, we are unable to give or receive love, our emotions are trying to surface to be released, and we don’t have balance. We are literally trapped.
I literally could not take a deep breath, or meditate, or relax.
As an adult, I struggled with going home to see family.  They were the same people, with the same problems, and I did not like how I felt inside.

 And then it hit me.

I can choose how much I allow.

Because this can not continue in my life.

I have to stop.

It has to STOP!
So for awhile I began to distance myself. I went over to the house less, I would call first to see what the mood of the house was if I was going to head over, and I stopped allowing my mother to vent to me about her relationship with my father.  Those were the only phone calls I would get from her, so I started letting her go to voicemail.
The relationships became tense for awhile because my actions were taken as mutiny, they didn’t understand me, or that i was now going to put myself and my peace first. I am not defined by my past, and it absolutely has taken me to deep emotions within myself, and the healing journey that has brought me to where I am today. I am blessed. 
For empaths with difficult families, we need to remember our skills!  You can’t change the family dynamics or the energy it produces, but you have power. You have control.  Honor yourself.

It is shallow breaths we take when we are stressed, and we actually clench muscles in our face, chest, and belly while we are doing it.  And its so automatic we don’t realize it. If you are in an environment that is causing you to feel tense, or breathe shallow, it is time to check in with yourself and breathe! This releases the stress and raises your vibrational frequency!

It’s important to practice Yoga breathing, Mindfulness, or another technique that slows down your breath and the tension in your body.

The box breath is breathe in to a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, and breathe out for a count of 4, then hold again for a count of 4.  Then repeat.

 

This mantra is helpful when you absolutely can’t get away from the moment of conversation with someone…You are dialed in to the moment, your Ego is ready to pounce, but wait…….you have a choice.

Not my circus not my monkey.

I’m not involved in that drama and I remain in my light.

The Christ Consciousness in me sees the Christ Consciousness in You.

I am peace in the peacefulness.

I am Love and all I see is Love.

You get the hint.  These statements turn it around. Release you of the energetic tie that’s about to happen, and put Ego back in the box. Raise your vibrational state!